More information on Love Addiction
The essentials for loving are an open heart and acceptance of ourselves and others as we are, now, in this moment. Often, we can offer this gift to our children or our beloved pets; it’s often a far greater challenge with our friends, lovers and partners. Sustaining loving relationships requires honesty, kindness, compromise and commitment. Often, when addiction is present, the addict gives everything, accepting far too little in return or, worse, accepting abuse, hoping that one day it will turn into love. The addict gives away the very core of themselves, in a desperate hope that others will meet the unfulfilled and hidden needs, soothe unnamed fears, heal deep wounds, lessen the terror of loneliness and somehow make life predictable.Love addiction is destructive pattern of relating to others that becomes increasingly empty and fuels resentment. Addicts attach themselves to others and take care of them or become helpless and cared for, in an attempt control others and avoid abandonment.
As the love addicted relationship progresses, both people find themselves feeling more trapped. The addict often feels deeply threatened when their “loved one” disapproves, disagrees, distances or even attempts to enjoy life outside of the relationship.
Romance addiction describes being in relationship with a fantasy. The “high” of the intoxication experienced during the attraction stage of romance becomes the drug, preventing any real intimacy from ever developing. The common pattern for this addiction is a series of short liaisons that end when any difficulty arises. It may also be present in long term relationships, as the addict escapes to fantasy lovers, avoiding the challenges of forging true intimacy. At times, this can also take the form of a dramatic obsession that results in the stalking of the romantic fantasy object by the obsessed.
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