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The decision to work on myself

I went to Lifeworks to address my bulimia and issues around co-dependency that arose in my personal therapy. I was certainly not in the darkest place that bulimia had taken me in the past, but, after sixteen years of on and off treatment for the disorder, I felt stuck and knew that I needed to do some serious work on myself. On a practical level, I also desperately wanted to experience four weeks of a normal eating regime because I realised, as an adult, I had never had that and this contributed to the bulimia.

I chose Lifeworks because my partner had been in treatment there the previous summer and I had seen how beneficial the programme had been for him. I also attended the family week there and it was so powerful that it changed the whole dysfunctional dynamic between myself, my partner, and his parents – we are still reaping the benefits of those intense, painful but amazing four days.

It was a huge decision for me to go to Lifeworks because I was so scared of asking for time off work and felt very guilty leaving my two young daughters with various friends and childminders. However, I knew, that for once, I had to put myself first if I was to stand a chance of beating my disease.

Lifeworks gave me the space to be vulnerable, something I had never fully allowed myself before. I think I was already getting in touch with my feelings before life works, but whilst there, I experienced a flood of emotions stemming from neglect and abuse I’d experienced as a child. Once these emotions were out and I had begun to make the connections to the past, I felt an overwhelming sense of relief and understanding. The tears that I’d been denied to shed as a child were welcomed at Lifeworks and each one of them cried away a little more pain.

For someone who thinks that they are always right, I found learning to take feedback from peers and staff challenging initially but really beneficial. After years of fooling myself, I soon realised that there was no fooling the therapists and that I had to be fully honest if I was to make real progress. I was honest and I did work very hard and the pay off has been great. Don’t get me wrong, I still have wobbly moments, but I have the knowledge and skills gained at Lifeworks to help me, aswell as my lovely buddy Anna who is still a great support and will be in my life forever.

Kay

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The decision to work on myself