Sex and love addiction is associated with a whole host of symptoms, which can have a hugely detrimental impact on your health, quality of life, self-esteem and your relationships with others.

Our experienced team at Life Works are dedicated to delivering high quality sex and love addiction treatment, enabling you to overcome your unique challenges and regain control of your behaviour, emotions and actions.

What are the signs and symptoms of sex addiction?

The symptoms of sex addiction or sexual compulsivity are largely focused around unhealthy sexual behaviours that can be described as secretive, shameful or abusive. Additionally, sex addiction is associated with risk-taking behaviour.

Individuals with sex addiction become increasingly driven to put themselves in dangerous situations such as having unprotected sex with multiple partners or soliciting prostitutes. As these behaviours become more common, sex addicts are forced to look for new and riskier ways to feed their habit.

Some of the most common signs and symptoms of sex addiction include:

• Having numerous sexual partners or one-night stands
• Spending considerable time, energy and money engaging in multiple extra-marital affairs, visiting strip clubs or exchanging sexual messages
• Excessive masturbation and use of pornography, to the extent that this has had an impact on your day-to-day life
• Using sex to cope with anxiety, stress or boredom
• You need sex to feel wanted, powerful or important
• Using prostitutes, engaging in voyeurism (watching others), stalking or exhibitionism
• Feeling compelled to seek out more and more ‘thrilling’ sexual behaviours, due to building a tolerance to more ‘mundane’ sexual activities
• Becoming preoccupied with internet dating, phone sex or cyber sex
• Feeling as though you are unable to stop engaging in sexual behaviours, even though you might want to
• Concealing your behaviour from your friends and family, and frequently lying about your associates and whereabouts to your loved ones
• Finding it hard to concentrate at work, home, or in any other areas of your life as you can’t stop thinking about when and where you will next have sex
• Feelings of intense guilt and shame after each sexual encounter
• Losing interest in activities, hobbies or events that were once important to you
• Neglecting responsibilities and relationships
• Poor performance and/or attendance at work
• Exacerbation of any existing mental health conditions

What are the signs and symptoms of love addiction?

The symptoms of love addiction are largely focused around unhealthy dependency within relationships. Often, love addicts crave attention, affection and intimacy; if they are not getting these in a relationship, this can lead them to feel worthless, hopeless and as though they can no longer cope.

Most love addicts fall in love very quickly but can have a hard time coping with a long-term relationship because of their need for constant attention and reassurance and the fact that they rely on someone else for their emotional wellbeing.

Some of the most common signs and symptoms of love addiction include:

• Finding that you fall in love very easily and very quickly
• When you are looking for a partner, initial attraction is the most important thing for you, and if you are attracted to someone, you disregard any signs that he/she may not be good for you
• Once you have bonded with someone, you find it impossible to let go
• Constantly fantasising about love, even when you are not in a relationship. For example, fantasising about the ideal partner you want to meet, or a previous partner who you once loved
• The thought of never finding someone to love, and ending up on your own terrifies you
• When you are in love, your fantasies and thoughts distract you from important everyday tasks
• Becoming increasingly needy in a relationship, to the extent that you smother your partner
• Valuing love above anything else and finding that it’s the only thing you’re really interested in
• Staying in a relationship even if this is unhealthy or if your partner is abusive towards you
• Feeling as though your life is over when a relationship ends, even resulting in suicidal thoughts
• Feeling engulfed by loneliness when you’re not in a relationship, causing you to seek out another partner just to avoid these feelings
• Finding it impossible to say no to someone that you’re in a relationship with
• Doing whatever you can to please your partner, including denying or sacrificing your own needs and wants in the relationship
• Becoming very jealous and possessive in relationships
• Following or stalking a new or previous partner
• Your relationships with family and friends tend to suffer when you are in a romantic relationship, because you only want to spend time with your partner
• Pursuing a potential partner even if they are in a relationship with someone else
• Losing interest in activities, hobbies or events that were once important to you, and devoting all of your time to pursuing the ideal relationship
• Poor performance and/or attendance at work
• Exacerbation of any existing mental health conditions

This page was reviewed by Robin Clayton, Primary Therapist, (BACP, ATSAC) in September 2021.