Does drama drive your relationships… are you a love addict?

Love addictionWhat is being addicted to love? Is it all about joy, sensuality and happiness? A clinical love addiction is actually something quite different. This article explores this in more detail and offers an opportunity for love addicts to realise that recovery is achievable.

In 1986, Robert Palmer wrote and performed a song ‘Addicted to Love’ that was also successfully covered by Tina Turner three years later.  They sang ‘The lights are on but you’re not home’, and about possession of another person, of being unable to sleep, eat, breathe, and of an inability to ‘get enough’ of their loved one. It was a huge hit and is still regularly played today – possibly because it has a great rhythm and the overt sexuality of the video performances are compelling.   I could never really catch many of the words apart from ‘Gonna have to face it you’re addicted to love’ and suspect many people didn’t think too much about the deeper meaning of those words anyway.  But what is being addicted to love?  Is it all about joy, sensuality and happiness?   Well no!  A clinical love addiction is actually something quite different.

February 14th – St Valentine’s Day


All of these love regions are known to release chemicals and neuro-transmitters, some of which are encouraging of attraction and pleasure.  The narrative that accompanied the graphic even suggested that psychiatrists may one day be able to subtly adjust these chemicals to help people who are dangerously depressed, after a heartbreaking relationship, to overcome it.

So is a love addiction serious, or is it something relatively fleeting that happens only in teenage years, possibly several times, but is just a passing phase?   Unfortunately the answer is ‘It’s serious!’.

Love doesn’t always give us positive feelings.  Sometimes love arouses jealousy that leads to aggression, and protectiveness, and then moves on to an ever increasing need for ownership of the other person.  When love becomes an obsession it can result in devastating stalking behaviour, violence, self-harm and even suicide.

Love addicts regularly feel social discomfort, low self-worth, and in personal relationships often have an immature attitude.   Many of their relationships are brief, highly sexually charged and are not easily forgotten.  Some evolve into intense emotional disturbance and a feeling of failure that persists for many years. However, there are solutions and love addiction recovery is already possible without resorting to any changes in physical chemistry.

Here at Life Works we specialise in treatments to enable people with a love addiction to work positively towards building good relationships and an acceptance that any future separations, that may or may not occur, will be without feelings of ongoing fear or abandonment.  We understand the compulsions and the underlying causes of love addiction issues.  We help those who are love addicts to learn how to successfully and beneficially handle their very personal challenges, to reach lasting and happy conclusions and a more fulfilling life.  If you need help do call us!

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