Jamie Moon talks about step five and sponsorship.Over the years I have done inventories with, ministers, doctors, priests and sponsors. I certainly got something from each but the best I’ve found for me is my Sponsor. Although I had the same sponsor for 43 years before he died I often ran away from him and got another. What I learned in all those experiences is that a Sponsor that truly knows how deep the Steps can work are the best for assisting in healing the true underlying problem—my thinking, beliefs and emotions.
It has been well said that without the Program we will be condemned to insanity or death. Well, without the healing of those underlying problems in the process I will eventually end up in the same place. That I believe is our fate without understanding our part in every single incident in our lives. All those moments in time, which we have blamed for our addictions and our behaviors, will drive us back into our original addiction or another.
I really like the idea of taking a brand newcomer through the Steps in a matter of days like they did originally. But then immediately begin a much more thorough process of the Steps and there really be made clear the need for a daily program. I also believe that there is some benefit to a Sponsor just listening, commenting little or not at all. I believe in Sponsorship that is much more dynamic and interactive. There also is no hierarchy in Sponsorship. We are all in this together. My Sponsor would take my calls and when I was done with my Step process he would say, “Are you done? (Yes) then now about me.” He would then do Step work with us changing roles.
The more the person knows about the process the better. And, the more the both of you trust that “where two or more are gathered together” you can trust what comes out of the Step Five process. This is the turning point in the program. It’s where we see that we created our experience of life. It is where we begin to get Power back in our lives. If we are the ones that have screwed our lives up then, we just might be able to change things. It wasn’t them—it was us.
Though, it is very important not to turn this knowledge in on ourselves as an excuse to beat ourselves up. There is a lot of referral right and wrong and for some of us this is a great opportunity to self-harm. I suggest that we were each unconscious when we created our life experience. In fact, most of us were children when the original decisions were made that later became hardened beliefs. I would like to give my definition of conscious and unconscious.
Conscious = knowing exactly what you are doing and/or knowing exactly why you are doing it.
Unconscious = NOT knowing exactly what you are doing and/or NOT knowing exactly why you are doing it.