Step Four—An Inventory of Our Sins by Jamie Moon

Step four in our 12 step blogs by Jamie Moon.The demonstration of having done Step Three is that we are now working on Step Four. If you have not begun this Step then you have not done Step Three. In order to arrest our illness we must surrender to the process of an earnest house-cleaning. Whether we have Sex and Love Addiction or Alcohol Addiction or Drug Addiction, etc., etc. we must take a personal inventory of our past. So, (We) made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.


Now a “moral” inventory many would say “Is an inventory of what we’ve done wrong in life.” Or that it is an inventory of our sins. Well, I say “Bull!” One of the definitions in the dictionary of moral is, pertaining and/or acting on the mind, feelings, will, or character. Now, that, I think is what we are working on in this process. We are figuring out where there are inaccuracies in our thinking, our feelings, and the direction of our will and of course, our character. These mistakes need to be uncovered before we can discover any possibility for change by discarding in later Steps our troubled past errors.

What is character? It is the aggregate of beliefs that form the nature of the individual. And, I believe that it is our faulty beliefs that have caused the cumulative damage to ourselves and others that keep us stuck. This harm is what we shall work through to repair along with our characters. I have certainly come from murderous rage to a peaceful, calm, contented and well balanced person. This has been accomplished by this process “the first step of which is a personal housecleaning.”

It is stated that “selfish, self-seeking, that we think is the root of our problem,” and this Step begins the process of our “emotional rearrangement.” First we will see that it is our beliefs that caused our life problems. Then, we see that we created them—that it’s not those people places or things that have caused the problem, but us. However, the freedom in that is that if we created these beliefs then we can re-create them.

But, firstly, we must move forward. So, what does this have to do with our addiction? Is it really the addiction that is the problem? Not in my world. I became as insane as I ever was through drug and alcohol addiction. In fact I actually ended up in more trouble sober. Yes the effects of my drinking cause me many problems but my insanity was the real problem. That is what needed to be fixed—my head—and this process did the job where psychology and religion hadn’t.

This is only an overview of each Step as I said earlier. We will be going into great detail of each Step as time goes on. I shall also be being much more hands on with the answering of your questions and statements. I look forward to your responses.

Jamie

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